Mountain Biker’s Glossary

Browsing the web looking for who-knows-what, I found a page of mountain biking terms. I grabbed the ones with which I can identify, but I have never heard before. Here’s the complete list, although the rest of them are mostly old news.

Auger (verb) - to involuntarily take samples of the local geology, usually with one’s face, during a crash. See face plant.

Bagger (noun) - one who always agrees to ride, party, gather, etc. but rarely shows. bag v. to fail to show. “Tom swore he’d be there but he bagged.”

Banana Scraper (noun) - low hanging branches, the kind that smear the guts of that banana you put in the pouch on the back of your camelback when you don’t duck low enough.

Bring Home a Christmas Tree (verb) - to ride (or crash) through dense bushes, so leaves and branches are hanging from your bike and helmet. See prune.

Corndog (verb) - to become covered in silt, usually after a fall.

Death Cookies (noun) - fist-sized rocks that knock your bike in every direction but the one you want to proceed in.

Male Blindness (noun) - when a male rider watches a beautiful female ride over rough terrain and stares intensely at all the jiggling parts, making him too dizzy to see straight when it’s his turn to ride the same terrain.

Sneakers (noun) - tires.

Spider Patrol (noun) - lead rider, or first rider to run into a mongo banana spider. Similar to cob clearer.

Sharkbite (noun) - the mark that your large chainring makes in your calf or other exposed body part when you fall.

Vegetable Tunnel (noun) - a singletrack that is heavily overgrown with foliage, so a rider must duck and bend to get through it.

Wild Pigs (noun) - poorly adjusted brake pads that squeal in use.